I tend to overthink and become obsessed with a thought. Lately, I've been really thinking about what it's like to be a Christian and have the “hero” personality. Some people think that a weakness might be always having to be seen as the hero instead of a villain. However, I think what my Dad said is true, and ironically, would make a good film trailer voiceover. “When bad men become lawmakers, then good men become lawbreakers.” If this sounds like the line from the Dark Knight where the caped crusader says “I'm whatever Gotham needs me to be”, it's true. However, like the celebrated meme, Jesus is the greatest hero of all, sharing with the popular DC and Marvel heroes “And that's how I saved the world!” He was unafraid to challenge people's preconceptions about God or what qualifies someone to be in relationship to God. He didn't dismiss children. He welcomed them. He didn't condemn the woman caught in adultery. He forgave her. His strongest words and actions were towards the Pharisees and Sadducees. I try to challenge myself because the Pharisees also thought they were standing for the truth, yet they were against Jesus. The disciples may not have been seminarians, but everyone could tell they had been around Jesus.
Having said all this, it can be very difficult to “endure this sinful world as Jesus did”. I believe in praying, reading the Bible, community, evangelism, etc. All the traits that show we have been with Jesus. However, it can be hard to see the pain and suffering people go through due to injustice in a fallen world and practice faith that someday Jesus will come back to restore all things.
I'm a caregiver full time. Sometimes there's just too much going on and I can't write as much as I would like to. I see the things I think my family could use like an extra CPAP machine or healthcare plan for various chronic issues including a new problem with my right knee while walking, and feel I must do something.
We've been praying and reading “Our Daily Bread” more often. We are healing as a couple from damage done by others in the past. It's interesting how allowing God to have control of things makes life a little easier.
I know that I'm doing my best. Money has never been a strong motivator for me in life. I care more about people than making money. However, I'm at a crossroads. It's become apparent that if I care about my immediate family and my health, I need to earn more. That's why I'm prayerfully considering a career in Cyber Security. This new career would allow me to still work remotely and be a cyber hero. Apparently there's a great need for people to protect their businesses from malware, ransomware, and would be hackers and save their businesses millions of dollars. The only frame of reference I have is my 2 failed attempts to earn a life insurance certification. I will still be the creative guy writing and drawing in my limited spare time. I have no computer, except what the local library has available. I might have some connections on an internship through work. My new Bluetooth tablet keyboard has been very helpful. I had attempted to fix the screen on my iPad and was successful at first, until it accidentally fell and all the infinitesimal screws came loose. I have very large sausage fingers and I’m not so certain God is behind the invention of the iPad.
In any case, I am going to start a YouTube channel soon, just to share my thoughts. I don’t really envision it going very far. However, I am very lonely and could use community. I’m aware this will come at the price of trolls and negative comments. However, sometimes those things can make your writing better.
I can’t post it on YouTube, but I can reference the song that’s been on replay for me this past year:
https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=YrGNQpllhzI&si=_27JOSG640SxkHs4
By the way, the answer to this song’s titled question is, living my life and loving the ones I care about.